Veteran Pillsbury spokesmanPop N. Fresh died Monday of a yeast infection. He was 31. Fresh was buried Thursday in one of the biggest funerals in years. Dozens of celebrities attended including Betty Crocker, Mrs Butterworth,the Keebler elves and Hungry Jack. The gravesite was pile high with flours. Longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who :never knew he was kneaded." Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He wasn't considered a smart cookie and wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Still, even as a crusty old man he was a roll model to millions. Fresh is survived by his second wife. They had two children and one in the oven.

(I am proud to admit that I didn't write this, but instead stumbled on it on the lunatic fringe of cyberspace. Honest!